Thursday, August 5, 2010

And so it ends

Monday during CDC Regina, the teacher that I work with told me she admires me because I never scold the children, I always just smile... while this was very kind of her, it’s not for lack of desire to scold that I don’t, it’s just that I don’t know the words. I tried to tell a boy he was naughty once, and instead called him a monkey, so I think I’ll just stick to the smiling. Monday night after CDC Deepa, one of the teachers who really doesn’t speak much English, insisted that I come to her house, which Kingsley surprisingly gave in to, perhaps because it was a “walkable distance” means like 12 feet. He gave us half an hour, but after visiting every person she’s ever known and eating the strangest assortments of food ever, I came back about 2 hours later. That man didn’t even care.
Tuesday was a big Hindu holiday, so the kids didn’t have CDC, and Kingsley, for some reason I cannot understand at all, decided I should go nose ring shopping with Deepa and Regina!! By foot!! However, due to the fact that I was wearing a shin length skirt and t-shirt, I had to change... inappropriate you know. This will always be one of my favourite memories of India, the “pillar of Aubrey”, each girl (they’re the same age as I am so I don’t really know what to call them) on either side of me, holding my hide, and continually telling me how “jolly” they are... happiness is so simple here. After buying my new nose ring, they had a series of whispering conferences, and took me to this shop to buy me SO much jewelry that I never would have picked for myself but really is beautiful... I should be giving them things, but here they are, buying me anything they think I could possibly want! We went to have tea afterwards, because that’s just what you do, and I swear they asked me if I wanted every single thing in the little stall. When I would say no thanks, Deepa would get very angry looking and tell me she hated my words. Oh goodness I will miss those 2!
Wednesday I finished my last book due to the fact that the power was out all day, and prayed that Mumbai would be full of things to do, because as much as I’ve come to appreciate relaxing, having nothing to occupy my interest still scares me, I think lonliness itself scares me. But I think God heard my prayers in a different way than I meant to pray them, because during CDC Kingsley called me to the window to tell me that Raj will be busy this week and I can no longer go to Mumbai. Which means I basically forfeit almost all of the money I paid for the tickets, and go with him to Kotagiri, but really I don’t care, in fact I can really see a lot of good in it. God is in control, and I have no doubt that He has my best interest in mind, so it’s actually better than ok! In Kotagiri I’ll get to help Kings finish painting his church, help him pick out some new sound equipment, visit that CDC again, and attend a wedding of one of his friends! And when I’m leaving I’ll only have to wait in the airport alone 2 hours instead of the 6 I would have had to had I gone to Mumbai!
I also got to chase chickens with an old woman today... just delightful really.
Thursday, today, I was just overwhelmed by the way God has worked here, by the certainty that I have regarding the fact that I really was called to India for the last 3 weeks, for SO many reasons... But blessings tend to be forgotten if they’re not shared, and I think that’s something else I’ve been increasingly aware of while I was here... accountability isn’t just about keeping one another doing the right things morally, it’s also simply about sharing in the ONLY things that REALLY matter in this life...I read today in “Follow Me to Freedom”, a book I would recommend to anyone, “we begin to heal when we share in one another’s pain...”. So so true.
As I said goodbye to the kids tonight I thought it would probably be easier this time, because they didn’t throw a big celebration like last year, it was just another night at CDC, but really it was harder, because the kids just kept coming back to kiss me and tell me goodbye one more time, to hold my hand, and to tell me they love me through tear filled eyes. One girl told me I should come back next year, and my reply was something along the lines of lots of money. She thought for a second, and her eyes lit up as she told me “Jesus will help you!” Just beautiful.
But I can’t wait to be home, I can’t wait to share with each one of you in this journey we’re on! I love you all so much!

Monday, August 2, 2010

more than enough

Well it’s once again been far too long since I’ve blogged for how much I have to say, but I think today I’ll break it down into days. This way, if you become too fatigued, you can take a rest between days.
First, because this does not fit into any particular day, I would like to tell my mother that she would hardly recognize me... I have become obsessively clean. Like I can’t leave my room without it being completely straight, my suitcase entirely organized, and my blanket folded. Get up off the floor momma. Strange things just happen to me in India.
I think quizas I left off last Wednesday, but my quizas reminded me of another story that just needs to be told before I even get into what’s happened since I last blogged. The work and witness team consisted of a very diverse mixture of people, one who happened to be named Eva... Kingsley called her the naughty filipino. I think I may have talked about her in my last blog, but come to find out, while she was trying to invite everyone to the church dedication, she was inviting them in Spanish! Which she doesn’t even really know, but tries to know. Bless her heart.
Wednesday- I had been looking forward to CDC, as I do everyday, and just as I was about to get ready for it Kingsley’s dad told me to be ready in 15 minutes because we were going to Trichy... over an hour later we left, and I was less than pleased. But it really turned out to be wonderful, mostly because it allowed me to really interact with Kingsley and his family, especially Sweety, who is just extremely shy! She was telling me that at her college a lot of professors will come from other countries and teach courses for just 1 month, then go home... I like this. More thoughts on that when I get home.
Thursday- The teachers at the CDC decided they wanted to take me shopping, but Regina goes to school during the day, so it would have to be on Saturday. They were too afraid to ask Kingsley, so I told them I would ask them, which they found to be”so so so bold”. They then insisted I come up with a plan that instant, so I did (mostly it consisted of a long drawn out please and slightly flirty eyes), but then they decided it must be carried out immediately. Since Kingsley wasn’t home we called him on Regina’s phone (resulting in a lack of flirty eyes) and he said yes, but he needed to talk to Regina 1st. I handed her the phone, which she promptly threw in Deepa’s lap and ran from the building... I don’t know why these women are so scared of that man! A plan was drawn up, but due to factors that I’m not altogether aware of, but may have something to do with the fact that Regina went to dance class instead of coming to teach the next day, I never went shopping with them. Oh well, the planning was delightful, and there’s nothing I really need in India that I do not already have! Side note: my plane ticket to Mumbai has finally been secured as of about 5 minutes ago... I’ve been working on it since the day I got here, but due to Indian’s complete disregard of timeliness, it was impossible to get Kingsley to purchase it til today. This has resulted in a dramatic increase in price, but life goes on, and money is just money, and will be acquired again.
Back to Thursday... I must have looked extremely hungry in the morning, because I was given 4 pieces of French toast, at least 4 eggs, a glass of whole milk and sugar sprinkled with tea double the normal size, and a pancake thing bigger than my plate with vegetable sauce. For dinner, since my lunch had been similar in size, I asked if I could just have crackers and peanut butter, to which I thought Kingsley’s father responded yes, but perhaps I was wrong, because he then brought out a special treat for me... a mcdonalds “hamburger” loaded with mayo, cheese, and fried chicken, at least 20 dark meat chicken nuggets, and fries. But you know, I just ate it, and praised the Lord that eating here is just so different, so wonderful, and something I actually enjoy... maybe some of you know what I’m talking about, maybe you don’t, but this in itself is one of the biggest freedoms and blessings India has to offer.
Friday- Kingsley finally came home... he had been mia for multiple days, but he came back finally, and he hugged me!! With no prompting!! I really miss touch here...
Mother, just to let you know, we have found someone who loses more things than I do.
Saturday- I don’t say a lot about days here, because to the average person they’re just so not exciting, and probably would make people think I’m lonely or something, but the greatest thing is, I’m just not... They are so FULL of relationship, a relationship I far to often neglect in America, because I can get direct responses from anyone around me at any moment I desire, but here, He truly is my BEST friend, and he DOES respond... He is my greatest distraction. I’ve been reading Romans,Peter, Luke, “Follow Me to Freedom”, and the Mark of the Lion Series, and the ways they all correspond with one another and enhance the reading of the other has just been so beautiful... not to mention the amazing peace I’ve been given about where I am in my life, the plans God has for me in my current job, my major, my relationships... God has placed me where I am for a reason I absolutely CANNOT deny! I just cannot express to you what a blessing this has been... PLEASE ask me about this when I get home, there’s so much I want to say to each one of you, so much truth God has spoken into my heart!
Saturday evening we had martial arts, during which I was called back to the house just to drink tea, but I wish I had not returned... basically it was an Indian disaster... It started off humorous and ended just entirely uncomfortable due to my flexibility and the instructor’s fasicnation with it.
Sunday- I was so blessed to be able to preach at a church that we painted last year with Beyonce... it’s now decorated beautifully, with a Santa Clause mask hanging directly above the podium.
I spoke on the hope that I have, living out of that hope, and accountability with others in our journey... probably other stuff too, but the Spirit was so faithful, and really just let the words flow.
But really, I think I may have been preaching to myself just as much as the Indian people, to see them worshipping and praying, their hope is just so evident...
Sunday was honestly kind of hard though in the afternoon, because I really missed my Sunday dinner time, and community in general. But then Kingsley and I started talking, and he suggested we watch the church service online of the work and witness team and my dear friends Tiffany and Dan... I first I wasn’t particularly excited about it, but I’m so glad we did!! I got to hear Tiffany play a flute duet, and it was such a wonderful service, and amazing to hear the team’s views on India related back to the church in America. Apparently after I left (the team stayed for 3 more days) about 20 kids were saved... and to think that I was questioning the team... I still wonder how the children will be discipled, but I know transformation has to start somewhere, and God is bigger than anything I can imagine... please pray for these kids though.
Also, one of the songs they played has kind of been my song for the trip... “You’re more than enough for me, Jesus you’re all I need, You hold my world in your hands...” Coincidence? Probably not.
Well you should probably go take rest now... Not sure if I’ll get to blog again before I get home, since I don’t know what my computer situation will be in Mumbai, but I love you all!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

India in a very large nutshell 2!

Alright back to Anbu! When I asked him what he believes, I began to wonder if I could really tell him what I believe, the “reason for the hope that I have (1 Peter 3:17)”. He told me what he as a Hindu believes, and the thing that really stuck out to me was that he lives his life striving to not be reborn, while we are given the promise of eternal life, if we will only put our trust in God! How amazing that we don’t have to run from something, but only to someone, someone who’s love and acceptance is given so freely! If I’m constantly questioning the love of someone, I can’t freely love them back. But since I have been justified by faith I have peace with God through my Lord Jesus Christ. This is the reason for the hope that I have…

When we got to Chennai Anbu was so sweet and stayed with me through customs and getting my luggage, and was going to take me to my connecting flight, but then his luggage never arrived from London! So I set off on my own, found a small corner with a fan and a clock nearby, and began to read. During the 2 hours I had to sit there (you can’t check into flights more than an hour and a half in advance) 2 different Indian men came to talk to me, genuinely interested in my life! Each offered to buy me tea, and one had to leave for a moment, but he came back specifically to tell me “bye bye”.

When I got to check in finally I wandered around aimlessly for quite some time trying to figure out how to find a phone, since I realized I had miscalculated the time and would not be with Kingsley at the time I told mother I would, but some man stopped me and asked if I needed to use his mobile! When I finally got to Coimbatore Kingsley was not there, so I simply walked up to another man, asked him if he spoke English, and offered to pay him to use his phone, which he refused, saying he doesn’t care about money. I just like the Indian men.

After sitting on a curb alone (alone as you can get in India) for about 45 minutes, Kingsley finally arrived with this year’s team! Jenna jumped out of the car… I can’t describe all this, but it was wonderful. I thought I might feel some jealousy towards the team this year, or like I didn’t fit in with them, but spending the little time I was able to with them was just so wonderful!! In fact, when they left I cried… when I first got here I was lonely a lot, and really unsure of why I was here, what in the world I was thinking coming alone. Kings handed me his phone to call Ross the night I was the most lonely though, and then on the way back up the mountain Kings and I had a wonderful conversation about life in general, and I just knew everything was going to be ok.

Much to my surprise, a team from Houston, Texas arrived to work on Kingsley’s church in Kotagiri! Karlee and Aaron Webster were in this team (Lynlee’s sister and Josh Baskett’s cousin ) and they were from the church my friends Tiffany and Daniel go to! Oh and some man whose name might be Richard Crow knows Uncle Bob and Aunt Judy, and while talking to his wife, who lives in Bethany, also talked to Kathy Choate! Crazy small world… So to make a very very long story short, I ended up getting to stay with this delightful woman named Glenda instead of in a hotel alone, and I stayed extremely busy for the next few days, plastering, leveling, sifting sand, painting, touring India, etc. AMAZING!! I actually kind of resented the team at first, particularly because of how American they were, how I felt like their mindset was kind of let me come save this place for a week, not let me come live with you, and in the meantime help you… does this make any sense? Really though most of the people were wonderful, I’ll tell you many more stories about them upon arriving home… Oh! The lady I stayed with though, Glenda, got flowers from her husband on their 33rd wedding anniversary!!! So beautiful…

Each night we would put on a VBS thing for the CDC in Kotagiri, which was really cool, cause the kids just don’t get any sort of Sunday School or anything like that, only what they hear in church, if the even go to church, and a lot don’t. But my favorite woman, Silvi, came, and immediately pulled me into the kitchen and started kissing and hugging me! Indians don’t even hug!! On Sunday I was wearing my sari, and the minute she saw me she pulled me into her house and took it off me, calling in 2 other women to fix the mess I had apparently made of it lol. It was so wonderful to be back in Indian church, but I also really missed church at home, which I also love… it’s such a blessing to have finally found a church home, one I can’t wait to come back to!

The dedication of Kingsley’s church was on Sunday evening, and it was also wonderful! This little woman from somewhere in Asia (I know where I just can’t spell it) was crazy and ridiculous, but each day while we were working on the church she would invite people to come to the dedication, and so many people came!! This absolutely wonderful missionary family from Nampa came too, and it was just so amazing to have someone to talk to who really understood where I was at and my feelings towards the past week… I’ll tell you their story when I get home too, since this is turning into 12 pages.

The next morning I took off for Musiri with 2 men who don’t really speak English, stopping for a midmorning snack of a pot of fried rice and fried onions… let the intense eating commence! I’m actually not worried about it though, and the teacher I worked with last year at the CDC told me “last year so broad, this year so small!” hahaha Being back with the CDC here in Musiri has made this whole trip so worth it though… oh goodness I love those kids, and I know without a doubt that they love me! CDC last year wasn’t my favorite thing at all, but this year, well, it’s just wonderful!! The kids now have martial arts added into their curriculum… basically it ends up being the instructor teaching me about a million different blocks while the kids all stare and laugh.

During the day I basically only read and eat, but I’m doing pretty well with it… pray that I could continue to be present, that God’s truth would be revealed as I search for an even greater understanding of who He is, what His love means, and what His call for my life is… I love you all so much, and can’t wait to see you, but for now, I am so blessed to be in India!!

India in a very large nutshell

Monday, July 26, 2010

1/100 of what I want to say

Due to my non-inquiring nature, at least in regards to plans while in India, I once again had very little knowledge of what I would be doing here... perhaps more than last time, but I still had no sense of a schedule. That being said, I had no idea that I would be spending my first week in Kotagiri with no internet capabilities and temperatures where you can often see your breath. I kept somewhat of a journal while in Kotagiri though, so I will go over at least some of the past week and a half!

On my flight to London I sat by a very large but very kind biker who shared his blanket with me, due to the fact that I had my broncho blanket on, my airplane blanket, and my hoodie with the hood up, and I was still shivering... I think I may have been slightly sick at this point. He was very kind, and going with his “brother from another mother” on a tour of London. The woman on the other side of me was not friendly in the least, but that’s beside the point. On my flight from London to Chennai I sat by
another very kind and very chatty Indian man from Houston who was going to meet up with his wife and daughter in Chennai. oh goodness this is just not working... every 15 letters the computer takes me back 5 words and starts typing there... I’ll try to finish with Sweety’s computer later... well now it’s working. Back to Anbu (my Indian friend) We were able to share our religious beliefs with one another, and the main difference I found was that... ok it’s stopped working again...

I love you all and I’ll try to actually start talking about India sometime soon!
I miss you so much but I know this is right where I need to be!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Life is Wonderful

So here I go again... once more trying extremely hard not to have expectations, only knowing that God WILL move! I'm nervous about going without my girls... their being a part of my life last summer made an impact on me that I know I can never fully comprehend, but only say STOTRUM!
As I go back I don't have a big ministry plan, I'm just going to further explore the call to missions God has placed on my life. I'm going back stronger than when I originally left in almost every aspect of my life, but I know there is still SO much growth to take place, more of my life the Holy Spirit wants to claim as His own. Pray for my pride to be broken, hearts to be open, and full surrender to the plans God has for me as I journey once again in INDIA!!

Monday, July 20, 2009

I'm done, but God's not!

We started this week off with an awesome painting job… mint green, purple, dark, and light blue are always super colors for a church. As we were beginning to paint we began to sing hymns, like we do, and all the sudden we hear Beyonce blasting through the speakers… hahaha Kingsley loves our music and made sure to bring the cds we’d been listening to on our numerous car trips! The time painting went by so fast though, and it’s been awesome to do some of what I thought most of this trip would look like. But as I said in the YIM update, I never would have learned what I have from God and my teammates had it been all work or constant moving, even if this is what I enjoy. I honestly can’t say that I wish this trip had turned out any differently. I am so thankful that I couldn’t run, I love that we had so much time to spend with the CDC kids, I love that we were able to travel so much, I love that my face was stuffed with food, I love that I couldn’t understand the church services, and I love that my teammates and I had so much time to spend in the word, relaxing and coming to know the God we’ve been acquainted with for so long.
One of my favorite, but possibly also one of our hardest experiences here happened Saturday night. One of our favorite elderly couples had invited us over for dinner, and we were super excited about going. That morning when I woke up I prayed that God would give me one more insight that day, one more way to grow. Also, at every meal, and during our group prayer time, each person who prayed asked God to bless our time with the family, and I really questioned why. We’d never prayed for house visits before they happened, especially not ones we were so excited about. During group prayer I also prayed that our team wouldn’t be divided, and immediately I wondered why I had prayed that… we’d really never struggled with division before.
While we were waiting for the food to be cooked Joseph and Silva’s first son, Joseph, arrived. He was extremely loud from the beginning, but at first I just thought he was proud of his English skills, because they were actually pretty good. However, as the night wore on he became more and more obnoxious and it became very clear that he was drunk. He shoved food in our faces, all the while shouting “Hallelujah!” and saying other crazy things about God that made no sense at all. I began to get extremely frustrated, simply because the night was really just not going as I had planned. We didn’t even get to talk to Joseph or Silva, and the food I ate wasn’t out of love, really only fear of what the man would do if I said no. I left that place unexplainably angry, as did one of my other teammates. When we got back we all agreed we really needed to debrief over the night. When we began one of our teammates was very quiet, but when her thoughts finally came they struck each one of our hearts. She told us that the man reminded her of her homeless friends (she is extremely involved in a homeless ministry in Kansas City) and that it really frustrated her how that man had been treated that night. Our first reaction was anger, denial, and extreme justification, but when it came down to it, she was absolutely right. That man was just as much a child of God as we are. If he was outside and I was the one serving him, maybe I could have accepted him, maybe I wouldn’t have attempted to ignore him in order to somehow show him that I didn’t agree with his lifestyle. This is ridiculous, but it really was my mindset. But that night, it was his turn to serve, his turn to show love for love in return, and I refused to give it to him. His mother constantly repeated “my son, my son!” and I was so incredulous as to how she could still be proud of him, but how many times has God done that for us, calling us his children, even though we are clearly embarrassing Him. So many times I’ve claimed the name of Jesus, but if anyone looked closely at all at my life they could see how far off I was… At times I was blind, but others I knew exactly what I was doing. But yet He still is proud of me, He still continues to love me, not just when it’s convenient, not just when it looks good, when it fits well into His life, but always. God was absolutely at work before we even began this night… as we were leaving I remember thinking God clearly forgot to bless our night, but in reality He went way beyond what I could have asked our imagined.
Our last night in Musiri, after a day full of packing, cooking with Kingsley’s mom, and doing all kinds of last minute things, we began our amazing final evening with the kids. We stepped outside in our saris and were almost overrun by kids, so excited to tell us “sari! Beautiful!” We blew bubbles with them for a while, but that was extremely stressful. So we moved on to pictures, but that proved to be just as if not more stressful. All the sudden two of the girls grabbed me though and started shuttling me up the stairs, both with their arms around me, one holding my dress up so I wouldn’t trip. We stepped on the roof to see all our beautiful kids, the teachers, and each of our favorite church members at our goodbye celebration. Kingsley had our music playing, including, but not limited to Backstreet Boys, and the weather was absolutely perfect as the sun began to set. Person after person came up and thanked us, each with another gift, something else to gladly stuff into our suitcases. As the night began to wind down each child came and kissed us, telling us multiple times goodbye. Our 3 favorite girls each began crying, pleading us to come again next year, to promise that we would. We exchanged addresses with some, but that was really the best we could do. One boy, when we asked him his, replied, “behind the church!” I can’t wait to tell you each in person more about this night! We will miss those kids and the amazing people of India so much, but we know without a doubt that God worked in us through this trip, that we were where He wanted us. That in itself is a comfort I cannot describe. I can’t wait to see all of you!! Thank you so much for the ways each of you have supported me… I know I’ll never know the impact your prayers and love have had! Familia, see you on Sunday!!!!!!!!!!